Relationship Counseling for Neurodiversity or Autism Spectrum Couples

You wonder what happened to you. You both use to laugh, love and now you just argue. Your friends and family may even tell you that you aren’t a good fit and that you aren’t going to work out. But you’re so tired of listening to other people, because YOU remember how much you love this person and the fun you use to have… and now you’re thinking there’s a counselor who might know what’s going on with you…. but a complete stranger?  And even though your partner doesn’t like meeting new people, doesn’t like being looked at as different, you know that you need help.

Maybe it makes you sad to think about your problems and wonder if there’s something wrong with you. That you can’t accept who you are as a neurodiverse adult, or make your relationship better because you’re so different. When contemplating next steps, it just feels wrong to not be together, and divorce or separating doesn’t feel like the right option, but you know “this” isn’t working.  Maybe you’re just stubborn enough to try and make the relationship work again.

Couples Counseling for Adults with Autism or ADHD—even “late-diagnosed” or female autistic clients

You and your partner are different.  It used to be so easy to accept each other’s differences, but now the lack of flexibility, the social awkwardness, or preoccupation with a special interest, is wearing on your relationship…and you start wondering if your partner still cares.  But you’re willing to do the work, to learn new skills, to compromise— whether you are neurodiverse or your partner is just quirky.  It’s not the time to give up, because you both deserve love. And with my 15 plus years of working with neurodiverse and typical couples, I can provide the supports you need.

Call for Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Near You or Online. Because I Can Help Neurodivergent Couples, and have over 15 yrs of experience working with Neurodiversity

My work includes assessing how your traits, your strengths, add to —or challenge— a relationship. I help determine relationship goals and identify values that work for you both. My special neurodiverse certifications include those approved by the American Psychological Association, AANE (American Autism Network), ND Partnerships, and ASDCS (certified autism spectrum disorder clinical specialist). Maybe you need guidance in how to manage your sensory sensitivities so you can express them to your partner. Or is it adapting your worldview from “solo experience” to “one of partnership satisfaction” that needs to be learned? I have structured, specific interventions or tools to deal with your specific needs. Together we explore skills, flexibility and self-advocacy, while still caring for your partner and your unique self.

Couple’s counseling can help build awareness of family priorities, and fix breakdowns in communication with significant others, while regulating and co-regulating your own mood and interactions. Learn how your efforts can be appreciated and recognized by neurotypical significant others, while maintaining your true self without the burnout from masking. Burnout is real, and I can help you understand and repair your specific burnout traits. Plus traits in an autistic female are often covert, and missed by the general public— even some medical doctors. With my decade plus of experience, I focus on the unique traits and “tells” that female clients have too often taught themself to mask—sometimes at significant mental health risk to themselves. Plus my educational thesis and first five years as a clinician were spent working with ADHD clients, so executive functioning, temporal discounting, and supporting adults with adhd —whether hyperactive or inattentive types— gained me experience with these specific needs (of which it’s estimated that 30-40% of autism clients have been dual diagnosed).

Targeted neurodiverse couples’ interventions—especially if a partner is a “late-diagnosed” autistic adult or a female autistic— emphasize and teach the following:

• New understandings and self-advocacy

• Effective tools for communication

• Perspective taking

• Compromise and repair

• Strategies to minimize burnout

DIAGNOSTIC ASSESSMENTS: Don’t worry if you don’t have the actual psychological testing diagnosis, since through counseling we can determine your neurodivergent needs, and support the specific challenges and strengths in you individually, and in your relationship.

Note: While therapists can use the DSM (diagnostic and statistic manual) to diagnose autism after an intake and counseling sessions, the diagnosis is for primarily for insurance or billing purposes. For complete and thorough understanding of your autism, I leave full autism testing to doctorate- level psychologists, who per APA (American Psychological Association) guidelines, are the only licensed professionals who have access to the ADOS, AQ-T, plus Empathy Quota, Camouflaging and Repetitive Behavior testing, plus more valid testing methods, which results in an lengthy, but often useful, autism assessment report. I have psychologist colleagues whom I may refer you to, who take insurance and complete psychological assessments, which are useful in understanding yourself and your own strengths or challenges. That’s if you want the formal diagnosis, but it doesn’t impinge on my ability to work with you and make progress on your specific goals.

The psychological report can also be invaluable for individuals looking to further understand their own neurodivergence, and may aid in medical interventions should anxiety, depression or even OCD be dual-diagnosed in the psychological assessments. My past career role as a clinical director (while also a practicing therapist) taught me how to review and analyze these 10-30 page comprehensive, doctorate-level, autism assessment reports, which I use to target specific therapeutic counseling goals and support your treatment plan. Therapists may, as needed, then use psychological testing reports’ data to author work accommodation requests specific to autistic needs, based on the ADA (American Disability Act). And if burnout is evident I have tools— as well as national and international colleagues with online support groups—to whom I refer if the burnout is significant. My network of autism experts throughout the US and Europe allows me to keep up with cutting edge treatments and supports for the unique neurology and needs of my clients.

Expertise in neurodivergent couples includes my participating in Love & Autism seminars starting in 2010, plus 1:1 interaction and support with the Medical Director of Autism ONE (the yearly seminar for 22 years, for all autism news, collaboration and expert findings, which unfortunately has been cancelled post pandemic). Autism One and such continuing education and collaborations inform me on specific physical health nuances which also may impact clients.

Experience and Certifications

• Co-Director of Family Services Program, specializing in Autism and Families/Couples counseling (families/couples with member(s) on the Autism Spectrum. Also supervisor of RDI programs for children with autism)

• Administrative Director/Head of Programming and head counselor at WBC, parenting clinic and couples counselor for those with Autism in their family

• CIP College Internship Program Head Therapist, supporting teens and young adults on the Autism Spectrum, transitioning into higher education, college, vocational training or internships (focus on executive functioning, social reasoning, self care and advocacy)

• RDI consultant/certification (Relationship Development Interventions for Autism/2008)

• AANE Certified Therapist using AANE (American Autism Network at AANE.org) sanctioned tools and training

• Intimacy Training, specific to Neurodivergent Couples

• ND Partners Certification, American Psychological Association approved training for working with Neurodiverse Couples

• CASDCS/Certified Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist

Let Me Help

I love working with neurodiverse couples, have 15 plus years of experience, multiple certifications in relationship development with neurodiverse, or Level 1 autism spectrum clients, and am a Certified Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist (CASDCS). Plus I can provide counseling in my office or online. Click here to schedule your free 15- minute phone consultation. My other specialties are relationship repair for typical couples, as well as lessening anxiety or depressive symptoms, or even trauma transformation. including A.R.T (Accelerated Resolution Therapy), ETT (emotional transformation therapy), EMDR or TF-CBT, or Parenting Support of Special Needs children (having provided, and supervised, in-home and in-school programs for youth).